So we meet again, little
snarklings. As promised, this week, I’ll be discussing job hunting for
darklings.
So first thing first: leave
all you Goth attire at home. Trust me, no one will hire you if you come in for
an interview dressed in a bustle skirt or a velvet trench coat. (The only
exception is at a strip club, which I pray that none of you plan to do an
interview at…) If you feel like you CANNOT function at an
interview wearing non-Gothling wear, then wear a bat choker or bring a skeleton
purse. Wear a hint of your true persona- just don’t go all out.
Gentlemen with long hair,
get a haircut. Seriously, its hair, it’ll grow back. Also, gentlemen, if you
wear makeup on a day to day basis, please do not show up for the interview
wearing deep plum lipstick. That is a surefire way to get you some odd looks
(as well as an hour of your time wasted).
Ladies, speaking of
makeup, please do not go all crazy with the liquid eyeliner- I repeat, please
leave the cute little butterflies and heart designs at home! There is a time
and a place for dramatic makeup- a job interview is not the place.
Bathe yourself the night
before the interview, please! Good hygienes are a major turning point for the
interviewer! If you smell like you hadn’t bathed in a month, there’s a high
possibility that you won’t get hired. Ladies and gentlemen, please wash your
hair and brush your teeth! Having good breath is crucial if you want/ need the
job.
Know the EXACT
time and location of the interview, know the route to take and how long it’ll
take to arrive at the destination, park, find a bathroom to freshen up, etc.
Arriving early never
means that you’re desperate- it means just the opposite.
Treat everyone you meet
with respect- they may be asked what they thought of you.
Greet the interviewer
with a firm handshake and listen to their name to understand how to pronounce
it. And also, please be sure to address them by Ms., Mr., Dr., etc.
Be honest! Never pretend
to be something you’re not. You will be found out eventually.
Oh and don’t fidget in
your seat- sit still with your hands folded neatly in your lap.
Use full, well thought
out answers and statements when responding to questions! And also ask for
clarification if you don’t understand a question.
Be serious about the interview-
do not treat it like it’s a joke. And also be positive- no one likes a negative
Betty!
Plan out your own
questions to ask the interviewer- be certain to include a question about dress
code, and if you’re feeling up to it, snap a picture of yourself all decked out
in your finest Gothiness and show it to the person who’s interviewing you so
that they know what you’re telling them.
It’s not rude to take
notes during an interview- do so.
When the interviewer
ends the interview, offer a handshake, offer eye contact and say, “Thank you
for your time” before departing gracefully. (For some reason, I thought of Barbie in Swan Lake. Man I am weird).
Never make excuses- bite
your tongue and fake a smile! And also, don’t make any negative comments about ANYTHING.
Did I or did I not state that before?
Don’t ask about salary
unless the interviewer brings it up first.
Don’t act desperate!
Unless the interviewer
can read minds, never play guessing games.
Do not chew gum or come
in smelling like cancer stick smoke.
Do not text or take a
call during the interview. If your phone goes off, apologize and TURN
THAT DAMNED THING OFF. (Unless it’s your older brother calling to
tell you that your sister in law is going into labor.)
Sadly enough, most
companies out there in the big bad world, despite stating that they are “one
big happy family” and don’t care about race, politics, religion, or sexuality,
are indeed against piercings and tattoos and dressing in funky clothes. There’s
nothing you can do to change all that (unless you’re planning on pulling a
Newsies move and starting a Gothling only union) so you must bite your lip and
go into the job interview dressed as a normal person. This is the huge chunk of
humanity who we Gothlings tend to stray and rebel against.
For example- Goths can
wear all black to work (just not black lipstick). Goths can totally rock a
dramatic smoky eye and bright cherry red lips to work, just as long as it isn’t
overdone. You all know that trick as to when you look in the mirror and take
off one piece of jewelry? Yeah, well, I don’t do that- I have an AMAZING
stylist for a mama who prevents me from leaving the house looking like an
overdecorated Christmas tree, or even worse- a repeat of when my mama was out
of town for a week and had all my outfits planned. My daddy didn’t even bother
with following any of the outfits she had set aside for me and had me dressed
in whatever he deemed as being easy to dress me in. Well, to shorten the story,
mama was not at all pleased when daddy and I arrived at the airport to pick her
up. I was wearing (the horrors) a bright yellow sundress, navy blue tights and
pink tennis shoes. (This was before my Goth days…)
An example of dressing
in a Goth manner for work (for me) would be a black pencil skirt, a teal peplum
blouse, black pumps, a few Gothic pieces of jewelry, a cute handbag and my faux
leather portfolio folder.
Things that should never
be considered being worn to the office are:
Crosses are so overdone
past death!
Leather should be
confined to only shoes and jackets, and the occasional bag. No leather pants,
I’m sorry, but those belong in the 80’s.
Lace blouses are lovely,
but please refrain from wearing just a bra or a corset underneath- a nude
colored camisole is just right for that hint of sexiness.
Leave the piercings at
home, for heaven’s sake.
If you can, please leave
the tongue piercing at home too. If you cannot take it out, learn to talk
without flashing it at people.
And also toss out those
old ratty torn fishnet stockings. You’re applying for a real job, not a stand
in for Pretty Women starring Julia Roberts.
No bones of any kind,
please! Jewelry or clothing should not look like a dead animal.
Same goes for skull
jewelry- trust me, you do not want to look like a teenaged death rocker.
Unless you can walk in
them, leave the stiletto heels in the closet.
Unless you are a five
year old, no tutus, please.
And one last note.
The key to getting a
job? Confidence. Act as if you are confident, even if you are nervous.
Until we meet again. In next week’s post, I shall be diving
into the world of interacting with evil little munchkins.
Please feel free to
follow the links that I have provided for more information on this week’s topic
or email me at petitegothgirl@live.com.
And please do not
hesitate to inform me of any errors that I make in my posts. I am always more
than happy to accept feedback and criticism.
NO COPYRIGHT INFRIGEMENT WAS MEANT IN THE MAKING OF THIS BLOG.
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